My greatest reminder, a call to action, has emerged from the caves, the depths, the centre and the heart of 2024 - a reminder to Heart-Cave and drop in deep.
Heart-Caving is when we've dropped into the myriad of silent, secret chasms within ourselves—the deep oceanic waters of our emotions, the deep belly of our soul - or we've deepened into our hearts when something has caused the lights in our lives to switch off.
My reminder was that we must tarry in our caves and remain still and silent in the darkness of our inner being to feel and honour what has been. And we must allow ourselves to ponder and wonder, cry, and experience it all, and to its fullest.
When the light dims on us, we often automatically think something is "wrong", and frequently, we don't want to look at what's wrong.
Yet when it is dark, the light has moved to shine on what is "right".
It will show us where to look if we allow it to.
"Hello darkness, my old friend
I've come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence"
(Simon & Garfunkel)
I naturally understood this process when I was younger. I feel everyone does. From 17 through my 20's, 30's - I would often dive into my Heart Cave. It was just a part of my way of being. I'd stay there as long as needed when things hurt, or I was confused.
I was Heart-Caving as I listened to Leonard Cohen or scratching poetry on toilet paper about the depths of my feelings. I would Heart-Cave when I fell in love to saturate and sink into the joy, and again when love went pear-shaped and disintegrated my heart. I would Cave into the music of album after soulful album, lying on the living room carpet, and I would cry. The crying felt good, cleansing, uplifting - eventually.
The Caving let me be raw and unfiltered and ushered me alive again. I would visit the Cave whenever my heart ached, when I became torn, depleted, desperate. I gifted myself time - sometimes days, weeks, months, revisiting my pain or sometimes my joy. It was a process.
There is a certain comfort in the dark, in the Heart Cave. It enfolds around you, and you can travel deep into your sacred heart to explore the tunnels and visit the temples there. You learn how to hold yourself and tend to your own needs. You learn to cry and release and moan about yourself. You can be dramatic and allow your hot blood to boil. You let the gut wrench. You feel. You lean into all of life.
The sages of old, the Hermits and the Initiates, would spend enough time in their Caves that their eyes adjusted to the dark. Their senses would activate to a higher level, allowing them to hear their own wisdom and heartbeat. They allowed enough time for their hearts to crack open and to be flooded with light.
"Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack, a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in"
(Leonard Cohen)
And, when the light comes, your heart is flung wide, open and high. You are ready for a new experience. You are still raw but cleansed. You are reborn.
If we don't Cave, we skip and roll around in the brain. We tumble and ache there. But we never get out of our own way. It's too loud inside the mind. It's full of the thoughts of the millions on the planet. It's full of undecided action, of memories that have become skewed. It's full of chatter. It's just too chaotic and not a private space.
It has been a very strange year in my reality, sometimes surreal. It was a slow, deliberate year, one that plodded along. Anything planned was delayed; anything that was delayed became stalled, sometimes permanently. There was a definite calling to be quieter, to be still. This is not just to meditate but to hibernate, and it was a reminder of how important it is to Heart-Cave.
In 2024, I found myself Heart-Caving in tiredness, or visiting pain from a weary body, or from a sense of despair, and the weight of the world or the worries of others. At times, it was burdensome. I was burdensome.
I needed the dark and the comfort of my Heart Cave. And I found that so did many other people. It was a Heart-Cave kind of year. I know this sounds a bit dire, but life has a habit of losing unicorns in pink clouds sometimes. And that's okay, and it's how it should be. It is how we grow.
And so it was. I rested and grew, and the light became more crystalline, brighter, and focused in that denseness. I used to think it shone brightly before, but now it seems Laser-like. Profound. It lit up - many more notches.
This is how my year is ending. Illumed. Open. I'm hoping to remain raw and unwilded once more. Nothing has changed. But everything is different. I am different. Therefore, my world is.
I hope this feels the same for all Cave dwellers and Hermits.
I hope your year is now shining.
For now, it's time to integrate and acknowledge 2024. Let it settle and be activated, tended, ready and waiting for life in all its expressions, in whatever way that may come - on the other side of this year:)
WISHING ONE AND ALL AN ILLUMINATED CHRISTMAS
AND HOLIDAY SEASON.
Hand on heart for your support this year. It has meant the world to me.
Elaine
IMPORTANT ****This post refers to everyday challenges, and it is with the greatest respect that I acknowledge that many people are dealing with concerns and situations that cannot be resolved by contemplation. Therefore, it is so important that if you have found yourself in the dark constantly or for too long if your cave has held you there and the light is eluding you - reach out for help.
If your mental and emotional health, despair or pain is deep and feels unmanageable, it is crucial to speak about your situation to others. There are times when we cannot do these things alone. Ask for help, and seek professional guidance.
It is important.
You are important.